My Last First Day of Classes- A Sad Start to Senior Year at Wake

Yesterday, was my last first day of classes at Wake Forest University. I am a senior, and I am not happy about it.

I may look happy on the outside, and I am partially, because I missed my friends and the beautiful campus that I live on, but I was more sad than excited to be back at school.

I think I have cried myself to sleep for over a week now, because I am freaking out and sad.

I hate change, so a new year, with new classes, and living in a new place is hard for me, so that is partially why I’m freaking out, but also because in May, I graduate.

Maybe, none of my fellow classmates of 2020 are thinking about graduation yet, but I am, and I am terrified.

I am also sad. Before I left New York, I did not want to return to Wake because I knew that once I returned, it would be real, that I am a senior, and that all my firsts have to be lasts this year, and that my time at Wake will come to an end this year. I am so sad because I dearly love Wake Forest.

This means the end of college, the end of being with my friends, the end of living in North Carolina on the most beautiful campus and the end of my “childhood.”

Adult world here I come.

So, I am scared, sad and stressed.

With new classes, comes new readjusting and stress.

I always feel overwhelmed starting new classes.

So yesterday was a bit stressful.

I even went to the library after dinner to try to ease my stress, but it did not really work…

I am also stressed because I am trying to start the semester off on a high note and be a good student, but I am also trying to finish studying for the LSAT, so I can take it this fall.

I am also adjusting to living in a new place. I live in on campus in a townhouse with three wonderful friends, but a lot of my friends are living off campus this year and are a car drive or a long walk away. That will also have to be something I get used to.

I think the first two weeks are going to be an adjustment, like they always are, which is why I am surprised at myself that I am having the same stress and worries that I do every year.

I think I just needed to write it down and vent it out. I am better at writing down my thoughts and expressing them through written or typed words than verbally.

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If you are like me and are struggling with the same feelings, thoughts and emotions, know that it will all be okay, and that I am struggling with you too!

Change is hard, but if we give a little kindness and love to ourselves, all will be okay eventually.

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