How and why I didn’t feel sexy:
From a young age, I have always had a very mature eye. I always wanted to dress and act older than I was.
I loved to watch What Not to Wear on TLC after school in elementary school and play around with my clothes by adding pearls, sparkle, and a belt here and there. Stacy London would be proud. I was a very sophisticated elementary schooler, or so I thought.
When I got to high school and college, I continued to wear conservative clothes, never showing too much skin, because my mom always took me shopping, which I don’t regret, because I always looked nice and appropriate for school. The problem was when I went to my first music festival at Jones Beach one summer, I got the tickets the night before the show, and I literally had nothing to wear that wasn’t too preppy or too conservative, because I was going to a concert after all. J.Crew chino shorts and a high neck summer blouse weren’t going to cut it. So, we ran over to the mall, and my mom and I went straight to American Eagle, where I found some denim shorts, that weren’t too short on my long-legged frame and a flowy spaghetti strap top. (You can see the outfit here). It was appropriate, but still me, but a little outside my preppy style, and I was okay with that.
The same thing happened however when I went to college. My first night at college I went to a frat party sporting a J.Crew blouse and J.Crew chino shorts. (You can see the outfit here). Not my best look for a college party. Definitely did not scream sexy nor “fun college freshman.” So, I quickly learned that I needed to buy some tank tops and more denim shorts and black bodysuits to fit the image of “fun college freshman.” So, I did after wearing my concert outfit from the summer 20+ times! I looked the part and dressed a bit “sexier” for when I went partying, which was great! I kept the J.Crew and conservative preppy style for the classroom and the library.
I graduated college, moved home to New York and started going to bars and clubs in Manhattan once they opened up this past summer, 2021. This time, I had a wardrobe of “sexy” going out clothes from college. Except New York City is different than college, in that everyone at college is young and fun, and I felt comfortable in denim cutoffs and a tank top going to and from various frat houses in North Carolina. In Manhattan, I didn’t feel comfortable wearing revealing clothes with all the wandering eyes and creepy people of Manhattan. So, I resorted to tasteful short skirts and tank tops, which totally could be deemed “sexy,” but I didn’t feel that.
I felt very shy wearing anything any bit revealing or short in Manhattan during the summer, and during the winter I strictly wore turtlenecks and black pants, boring, but warm. I felt like I was once again hiding in my clothes. I wasn’t really happy with how conservative my closet of a 23-year-old had become.
In all honesty, up until recently I did not feel confident in what I would wear to go to dinner or to go out in. I felt like I looked like a ~stylish~ grandma. And there is nothing wrong with dressing conservatively or not showing skin. I am all for that in my everyday life, and there is a time and place for everything, but going to bars and to dinner on a date or with friends, I wanted to feel more confident and more like every other 23-year-old. I wanted to stop aging myself.
How SATC helped make me feel sexy:
When I started binge watching SATC I fell in love with the outfits of the four best friends but also their confidence. This show reminded me that confidence is sexy. I’ve always known that, but I guess I was missing out on some confidence in how I carried myself and, in my outfits, while I transitioned out of college and into the “adult” (I am hardly an adult) world.
Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha all exude confidence in their outfits, their attitudes and their jobs.
I resonated a lot with Charlotte. Her Type A personality and her very conservative clothes match my aesthetic pretty perfectly. She always carries herself with confidence, regardless of what she is wearing. But what I really loved about watching Charlotte is that although she is preppy and classy in her fashion choices in her day-to-day life, when she goes out to dinner with the girls, she is showing a bit more skin, or if not skin, a tighter, sexier silhouetted dress, that shows her figure a bit more.
Carrie taught me that I can literally wear anything. She has some amazing outfits and some not so amazing outfits in the show. But she showed me that confidence is sexy and to wear the fun shoes and the crazy bag, maybe not the low-rise jeans, but the over the top coat, all together and rock it. (Peep my Carrie Bradshaw inspired look in the pictures above).
I hate to say it but, Miranda, I think is the least fashionable. Her power suits are always a move though, and the confidence she shows in her job as an attorney is very inspiring. My favorite scene is when the law partner puts his hand in her face at the board room table, to tell her to stop talking, and she ignores his request for silence and keeps talking, and then she quits. Now that takes one confident lady.
And then we have Samantha who really showed me I need to dress more for my age. Even as the oldest of the friends, she is always in the shortest hem and the highest heels. I want to be more like Samantha. I really love her confidence to wear all these sparkly and showy outfits when she goes out for a night on the town. She also rocks a power suit just like Miranda, but most of the time, her suits are not court appropriate, as she is usually missing the blouse that goes underneath it when she wears it to the office. But all in all, her style is amazing and is inspiring my date night and party outfits.
These four famous friends have really helped me see that I can be “sexy” in my day-to-day life. Whether that be in my attitude and the way I exude confidence or in my fashion choices. I can, and should, wear fun, flirty, and maybe even a bit revealing of an outfit, as I am 23. These ladies reminded me that I really can wear anything, and I should continue to fill my closet with fun clothes that make me happy and I should be confident when wearing them. As Carrie said, “I like my money right where I can see it…hanging in my closet.”
Shop my Carrie Bradshaw inspired look below (contains affiliate links):
